How Hurricanes Help Develop Habits for the Long Journey Home!

In Addictions, Formation, Freedom from Porn, Fully Awake, Habits, Pornography, Sex and Violence, Small Groups by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Here we go again.

Hurricane Dorian is wreaking havoc already, and it’s still days from making landfall.  I have lived in Florida nearly all of my adult life.

As such, I am accustomed to dealing with hurricanes.

By saying that I am accustomed to dealing with hurricanes, I don’t mean to imply that I know how to handle them. Instead, I mean that expecting them, preparing for them, and doing my best to endure them is now a matter of habit.

Indeed, activities I used to give considerable forethought, are …
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A Memorial Day “Number” to Remember: 63,922

In Addictions, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Pastoral Ministry, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

This Monday, the 27th of May, is Memorial Day.

It’s the day our country sets apart as a day to remember all the men and women who have died while serving in the United States military.  Nearly every city in our country will offer some service or “moment” this coming Monday.

We are encouraged to pause, reflect, and – most importantly – remember the high cost of freedom.  Indeed, many Sunday morning houses of worship will join the chorus calling us to remember!

As you prepare for this day, I’d …
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Five Reasons Why I Am a Man Against Porn

In Addictions, Consumption, Habits, Loneliness, Male and Female Relationships and Roles in Marriage, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Parenting, Pornography by Bizgainey1 Comment

Five Reasons Why I Am A Man Against Porn

I am an outspoken critic of porn.  I am also a proponent of putting an end to the global industry it has spawned.

My goal in all of this, however, is to offer hope and encouragement to men and women who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior disorders.

Most, if not all of these disorders, are connected to porn consumption and/or addiction!

This “work” against porn, in support of love (yes, the two are mutually exclusive) began over ten years ago.

My …
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What You Need to Know Before You Join a Recovery Group

In Addictions, Formation, Habits, Men Against Porn, Pornography, Social Media, Technology by Bizgainey1 Comment

Have you ever asked yourself, “What will it take to beat this addiction?”  I sure did.

Many times.

Over.

And.

Over.

And.

Over.

Again.

My wife asked it of me about a thousand times more than I asked it of myself.

Here’s the deal: If you’re asking, at least you are acknowledging that you have a problem!

Many Men Never Ask the Question: “What will it take?”

Most men – many men – never get that far.

While I can’t tell you every step you’re going to need to take, …
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Want to Recover From Porn Addiction? Discover the Power of Habit Formation!!

In Addictions, Christianity, Consumption, Contemplation, Culture, Formation, Pornography, Zombies by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

If you want to recover from your porn addiction, you will need to discover the power of habit formation!

Discovering and developing new habits are central to your freedom!

Why?

Many reasons, but one is that the porn habit you are now starving is going to get hungry.

When the addiction or compulsion gets hungry, it’s going to want you to feed it – as you have done so many times in the past.  That’s why the closer you are to your addiction, the more fiercely you have to fight …
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Can I Be Clean Without a Full Confession?

In Addictions, Consumption, Culture, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

When considering addiction, particularly porn, I don’t believe you can ever be free unless you fully confess!

Therefore, I often tell men who come to me for help that the most crucial step in your recovery and restoration process is the step of confession.

There is simply no way you will ever be whole if you don’t fully confess.

I don’t care what the addiction or compulsion is:

Porn or sexual addiction. Alcohol. Anger (yes, that can be an addiction). The internet or social media. Recreational or prescription drugs. Work,…
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How do I “Unsee” All Those Pornographic Images?

In Brokenness, Consumption, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Habits, Pornography, Sex and Violence, Technology by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Have you ever wondered how to unsee all those pornographic images you’ve spent years viewing?

If so, you’re not alone.  In fact, that’s a common – and often misunderstood – part of the journey.  Especially when you want to make the transition from a life saturated by free-porn to a life that’s finally porn-free!

Once you decide it’s time to live a porn-free life, you begin to notice how hard it is to get all those images out of your head.

Many of us find ourselves fighting images every moment …
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Why I Can’t Stop Writing About Porn and How I Hope to Help You Break Free!

In Addictions, Consumption, Formation, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

I want to pick up where I left off many weeks ago: writing about the church – specifically, the church as a new kind of community.

A few weeks ago, however, I realized that I have to begin writing about pornography, again.

Honestly, I don’t want to write about pornography.  I wish it (porn, I mean) simply weren’t a “thing.”

But it is a “thing.”  It’s a terribly toxic “thing” that I suspect is worse than you know.

Solicitation and Sex-Trafficking in Our Backyard

In our small community, the authorities …
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The Preteen Field is Drenched in Blood and Porn is its Reaper!

In Consumption, Culture, Formation, Freedom from Porn, Men Against Porn, Parenting, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

The Preteen Field is Drenched in Blood and Porn is its Reaper!

Are you one of those who still believe that Porn and civility can coexist?

Many do.

I know that correlation (we detect a relationship between the proliferation of porn and violence in our culture) and causation (porn proliferation can be traced directly to, or is the cause of, abuse and violence among teens) are two very different things.

But it doesn’t take a statistician to know that Porn is reaping a bloody harvest in what should be our …
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A Dozen (or so) Alarming Trends Directly Related to Porn Addiction, Pt. 4

In Consumption, Culture, Freedom from Porn, Marriage, Men Against Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

A Dozen (or so) Alarming Trends Directly Related to Porn Addiction, Pt. 4

As I reflect on my past of porn consumption/addiction, I cannot recall one moment of mutual consent.

In fact, the experience of viewing pornography is discordant on every level. While enticing one with passion, delight, and satisfaction, pornography is cloaked in power, domination, and self-absorption.

In short order, it’s all about consumption. The consumer both consumes and is consumed!

Porn consumption (a.k.a, viewing) ignites an insatiable urge to, first visually and then physically, consume the flesh of …
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