What You Need to Know Before You Join a Recovery Group

In Addictions, Formation, Habits, Men Against Porn, Pornography, Social Media, Technology by Bizgainey1 Comment

Have you ever asked yourself, “What will it take to beat this addiction?”  I sure did.

Many times.

Over.

And.

Over.

And.

Over.

Again.

My wife asked it of me about a thousand times more than I asked it of myself.

Here’s the deal: If you’re asking, at least you are acknowledging that you have a problem!

Many Men Never Ask the Question: “What will it take?”

Most men – many men – never get that far.

While I can’t tell you every step you’re going to need to take, …
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Want to Recover From Porn Addiction? Discover the Power of Habit Formation!!

In Addictions, Christianity, Consumption, Contemplation, Culture, Formation, Pornography, Zombies by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

If you want to recover from your porn addiction, you will need to discover the power of habit formation!

Discovering and developing new habits are central to your freedom!

Why?

Many reasons, but one is that the porn habit you are now starving is going to get hungry.

When the addiction or compulsion gets hungry, it’s going to want you to feed it – as you have done so many times in the past.  That’s why the closer you are to your addiction, the more fiercely you have to fight …
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Can I Be Clean Without a Full Confession?

In Addictions, Consumption, Culture, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

When considering addiction, particularly porn, I don’t believe you can ever be free unless you fully confess!

Therefore, I often tell men who come to me for help that the most crucial step in your recovery and restoration process is the step of confession.

There is simply no way you will ever be whole if you don’t fully confess.

I don’t care what the addiction or compulsion is:

Porn or sexual addiction. Alcohol. Anger (yes, that can be an addiction). The internet or social media. Recreational or prescription drugs. Work,…
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How do I “Unsee” All Those Pornographic Images?

In Brokenness, Consumption, Formation, Freedom, Freedom from Porn, Habits, Pornography, Sex and Violence, Technology by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Have you ever wondered how to unsee all those pornographic images you’ve spent years viewing?

If so, you’re not alone.  In fact, that’s a common – and often misunderstood – part of the journey.  Especially when you want to make the transition from a life saturated by free-porn to a life that’s finally porn-free!

Once you decide it’s time to live a porn-free life, you begin to notice how hard it is to get all those images out of your head.

Many of us find ourselves fighting images every moment …
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Why I Can’t Stop Writing About Porn and How I Hope to Help You Break Free!

In Addictions, Consumption, Formation, Pornography, Sex and Violence by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

I want to pick up where I left off many weeks ago: writing about the church – specifically, the church as a new kind of community.

A few weeks ago, however, I realized that I have to begin writing about pornography, again.

Honestly, I don’t want to write about pornography.  I wish it (porn, I mean) simply weren’t a “thing.”

But it is a “thing.”  It’s a terribly toxic “thing” that I suspect is worse than you know.

Solicitation and Sex-Trafficking in Our Backyard

In our small community, the authorities …
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What Makes News Good?

In Christianity, Church, Church Leadership, Formation, Funeral Gospel, Gospel by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

What makes news good news?

This is the question N.T. Wright tackles in his excellent book, Simply Good News: Why the Gospel is News and What Makes it Good.

His answer is that news, or news that is especially good news, is an announcement.

It’s an announcement about something good that has already happened (often unexpectedly).  Because of this good thing that’s happened, things are now changed and things are changing!

We live in a news-saturated world.  Much of is often not good news.

So, what makes news …
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Reclaiming What’s Lost

In Christian Leadership, Christianity, Church, Community, Discipleship, Formation, Gospel, Pastoral Ministry, Spiritual Formation by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

Christ’s earliest followers sensed a fresh wind blowing.  They sensed that, as the resurrection-story poured forth, they were experiencing and living in the new-kind-of-Kingdom vision that Jesus often proclaimed.

No, they didn’t fully realize what was going on at the moment.

But that didn’t matter.

The earliest followers of Christ stumbled, bumbled, and tumbled their way into this new-kind-of-Kingdom promise of the Gospel.  As they did, they experienced power, proclaimed hope, and dispensed love – gratuitously, I might add.

They began, in short, a journey as a new-kind-of-people within a …
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A Hope-Inspired Existence

In Christianity, Church, Community, Discipleship, Formation, Gospel, Spiritual Formation, Transforming Pastoral Leadership by Bizgainey2 Comments

The early church was a raucous bunch!

Stumbling, bumbling, and fumbling their way into this new-way-to-be-human the Gospel so clearly proclaimed.

You don’t have to read too far into the New Testament to pick up on the sense of dynamic power at work within and among them!

They (the earliest followers) are not a second-guessing kind of people.

They aren’t a “Hey, I wonder-if-this-is-true” study-group kind of people.

We don’t find them huddled up in bible-study groups complaining about how bad the world is.

Nope.

None of that.…
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Feeling, Rather than Fleeing, Pain!

In Addictions, Brokenness, Formation, Fully Awake, Habits, Loneliness, Psalms, Purpose and Meaning, Resolution, Soul-Care, Spiritual Formation by BizgaineyLeave a Comment

The Princess Bride, a modern fairy tale employing all of the standard elements like Royalty, clearly defined heroes and villains, stark contrasts between good and evil, hints of magic and happy endings, is one of my favorite flicks.

While there are so many parts of this movie that make one laugh, there are also just as many parts that offer insight.

In one poignant moment, just after Princess Buttercup is mocked by the “Dread Pirate Roberts” and before she rediscovers her long, lost Wesley, the Pirate King reminds her that …
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Ministry, MLK, and Making Time to Write

In Brokenness, Christian Leadership, Culture, Discipleship, Formation, Gospel, Love, Ministry, Spiritual Formation, Transforming Pastoral Leadership by Bizgainey6 Comments

Wow!

It’s been nearly a month since I’ve blogged.

I’ve been locked in a busy season of life and ministry.  For many involved in full-time (or even part-time and volunteer) ministry, the Advent Season is full and vibrant.  Busy but rewarding.

I find that, when ministry demands are high, moments for writing are few and far between.

That’s when I have to create space to write.

Time to Write Doesn’t Just Happen

This morning, I looked at my calendar and was stunned to find that it’s already January 10th.  We …
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